Weak in the knees

I found it in the park, hidden in a bush. It looked like a hat, but it had wires in it. I picked it up and saw some little lights blinking on it. To get it out of sight, I stuffed it in my shirt and walked away quickly. I didn't really know why I wanted it, or what purpose it could have, but I decided to claim it anyway.

I had been living in the mostly-intact basement of a collapsed building for a couple of weeks. From the outside, it looks like a heap of rubble, but I know the right bit of logod plexiglass to move. A short climb brings me to a long dark hallway. This place used to be a bigshot casino. All the fancy stuff was aboveground. Down here are offices, store rooms, vaults, and yours truly. The walls are taupe.

I sleep in an old office. I dragged out the filing cabinets, shelves, and other junk furnature. Made myself a nest in the corner using stuff from the storage rooms. I kept the desk, though. Without electricity, it's completely silent down here. Total silence is a rare luxury to the homeless. It took some getting used to. The place is lit with emergency glow globes. Those things last forever.

I pulled out the strange wired hat. The lights blinked softly at me. It didn't look like a fashion thing, because most of the wires were on the inside. The bill came down over the eyes. It didn't make any sense. I put it on. Nothing at first. Then I saw something in the corner of my eye, like a fly buzzing around. When I moved my eyes to look at it, bright white text zoomed into my field of vision.

CALIBRATING

The room went dark, except for those words. I got panicky, trying to reach out, but I couldn't feel anything. I was floating in space. I felt little pinpricks on my hands and feet. The sensation spread across my whole body in a slow wave. Then there was a different sensation. A nice one, all over. Nothing I had ever felt before.

I was sitting on a soft couch in a very nice hotel room. An incredibly beautiful woman is standing in front of me with a sly smile on her face. She's looking straight into my eyes.

"Hey Chuck, good to see you."

A Sense of Humor

"Don't you dare," she said.
She stopped moving and looked back at me with venom in her half-lidded eyes.
"I was kidding, c'mon."
She stared at me for a beat more, then the corners of her mouth twitched upward and she started moving again. Christ, she was lovely.

In the morning, I woke to find her watching me. Her brown eyes, the same color as her skin, held me there until she spoke.
"Get up," she said.
I watched her dress herself, admiring her grace and her flawless dark skin. She was usually gone when I woke up.
"Thanks," I said.
She shrugged.
"You're a nice guy. I thought I'd say goodbye this time."
As she reached for the door, I said, "I'll call you."
"But you tell the worst fucking jokes," she said and closed the door behind her with a click.

I sighed. Time to get going. They only sent the dark haired goddess when they had a really fucking dirty job for me. For the first time, I wondered if she knew.

Bad Morning

I woke up in a ditch again today. Hundreds of miles from home. My mind was still full of odd buzzing and flashing. I don't even know what month it is.

When I checked my pockets, I found around three thousand dollars in very worn bills, a scrap of paper with the word "EXIO" scrawled on it and some blood on the corner, and a molar with some metal in it. Or maybe it was "OIX3". Whatever.

I feel like I'm supposed to do something. I don't know what it is, but I don't let that bother me. It usually comes to me sooner or later.

inferior turbinate

I can't breathe. I wake up in the night, gasping for air. Every time I swallow, my ears pop. The sores in my mouth continue to worsten. I haven't eaten for 3 days due to the pain.

They said it's not usually lethal, but now all I can think about is "usually." I feel like I'm drowning. I think I may have a fever.

I suppose these experimental lab viruses are all like this in the beginning -- before they iron out most of the side effects. But it seems like a lot to go through for a nose job. I think I'd prefer the surgery.

The things I go through for a few thousand lousy bucks.

Waking in Reverse

It happened again today.

I was sitting in my cubicle just like any other day when my ears started ringing. I saw spots, then my vision dimmed. Through the ringing I could hear voices -- angry voices shouting and spitting. I smelled acrid smoke and a vibration in my feet like the ground shaking.

And then it was over, and I didn't know who I was. Like waking up from a dream in reverse, it was several minutes before I remembered my name, and almost an hour before I figured out where I was. And as the mundane world returned to my mind, the angry voices faded. I had heard every one of them clearly. But the words they had spoken gradually left me, until all I could remember was that the loudest voice had been my own.